Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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