i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
