tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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