i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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