We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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