so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
