My nipple is on Facebook.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
