just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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