i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
