you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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