tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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