yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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