Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
