You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
