just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
