Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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