He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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