I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
