College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize