i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
