i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
