Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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