So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize