broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize