i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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