No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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