I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
