If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Green mimosas i think yes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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