What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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