Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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