I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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