the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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