So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
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