At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
