I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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