Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
