let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
