I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
