I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
