They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i came on her dog
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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