how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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