so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize