my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
