Where is the hickey?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
