Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
