I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
