If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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