did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This house was built for laser tag.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
