yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
