This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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