Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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