don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I checked into jail on foursquare
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
