girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
