There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
