I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
