i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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