oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
