She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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