"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
