If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
