I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
