I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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