one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
