Pregnant stripper...not hot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I need to calm my uterus...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize