the condom got lost in my hair
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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