I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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