yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
