i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
