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I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
