Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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