my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
